


Dream

by futuresteven (orphan_account)



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Gen, Time Travel, future steven speaks to his younger self
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-15
Updated: 2020-06-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 05:20:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24728125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/futuresteven
Summary: “...Is this a dream?” His younger self asked, averting his gaze as more tears slipped out of his eyes. “When I wake up, will all of this end?”He frowned. “The only way to wake up is to start caring about yourself, Steven. Not mom, not dad, Not Pearl, not Amethyst, not Garnet, not Connie, not the Diamonds… care about yourself. Only then can you learn how to love yourself for who you are.”
Relationships: Steven Universe & Steven Universe, no ships - Relationship
Comments: 1
Kudos: 52





	Dream

It was all so familiar.

Steven’s stomach filled with dread the moment he saw a door close in the corner of his vision. It hurt. All he could do was pause when he saw  _ him.  _ A young boy, wearing clothes that were way too similar to what his mom would wear. His hair was fluffy and he was short. There was a terribly recognizable pink gem planted into his navel. One that was identical to his own.

“Pebbles, make me a mirror,” The boy demanded, only to hesitate and speak in a much softer and politer tone right after. “Please…”

They followed his task. Steven watched from around the corner as he strode to it and stared at his reflection. His eyes were so sad, filled with a guilt that should have never been his in the first place. Seeing such an expression on the face of someone so young (a  _ child,  _ at that) was enough to send shivers down his spine.

There stood fourteen-year-old Steven Universe. While most children his age worried about doing homework and completing their chores, he was worried about saving the entire universe by dismantling an empire that had been around for a millennia. He was small, had chubby cheeks, and even liked all the things most kids liked. However, the tense aura around him along with the tears sliding down his cheeks as he tried to seem more ‘elegant’ told another tale. One of a child who was forced out of his own childhood way too early.

He was friendly, gave everyone second chances, and was a hard worker. Even though he was faced with a new challenge everyday, he would light up the room with that childish beam of his and tell everyone to remain optimistic. Tell them that they could get through anything as long as they tried their hardest. Calling him caring would be a huge understatement for him. However, he didn’t care about everyone.

As the younger version of himself muttered things to himself, a sad smile came across Steven’s features. A sad, knowing smile. Garnet always told him that some things should stay mysterious and unknown. Back then, he took these words for granted. Nowadays, he wished that he had listened to her more carefully.

Soon, his entire childhood would be gone. Everything indicating that he was still so young would fade, leaving him with nothing but the stress and exhaustion from everything. A silly thought came across his mind as a butterfly flew above him. He held out a finger to it, forcing himself not to flinch as it landed on his fingertip.

_ “Change the past,”  _ It whispered to him as it flapped its wings. He was shocked that it would even suggest such a thing. 

His attention turned to his past self once again. He had straightened his posture and even forced a fake smile onto his features. “I’m Pink Diamond,” He said with confidence. Then, “...Mom was Pink Diamond…” could be heard in a much more shallow, depressed tone. Finally he brushed his fingers over his gem. “Mom… am I  _ you?” _

The butterfly flew up again.  _ “You have a good excuse to change the past. All you need to do now is change it.” _

Just now did he realize that it was pink and glowing. Among looking down at his fingers, he realized that he, too, was pink and glowing. He opened his mouth to question the butterfly, but it had flown away. All he could do now was base his actions on his feelings.

When his younger self tried to speak to his mother again, he decided enough was enough. He closed his eyes and felt as the pink glow faded from his skin and back into his gem. Then, he strode over to the other slowly.

“I don’t need you to respect me, I respect me.”

As soon as he began to sing, the boy turned to him with wide eyes. He jumped in fear at first, but stars soon filled his gaze. Star. The perfect nickname for him.

Steven continued to walk across the long distance away from  _ Star.  _ The younger version of himself was yet to have invented this song.  _ Maybe, singing it to him would help things change for the better. _

“...I don’t need you to love me, I love me…”

He could just imagine Star’s gem half standing there with a vacant stare that still held so much appreciation and love. Meeting his other half was nice, very much so, but the memory would continue to haunt the young boy’s thoughts in the future. This simply had to be changed. Changed to the point where White Diamond wouldn’t pick him up with a smile that reeked of bitter hatred.

“But… I want you to know you can know me…”

Star began to walk over to him. His eyes were filled with so many emotions that his expression was unreadable. Steven didn’t mind this, though. He continued his way over, similarly to how his gem half had walked over to him that one time.

“...If you change your  _ mind…” _

More tears slid down Star’s cheeks. He wasn’t even fifteen yet he had to act as the mature one within his family. The only one who truly cared for him at this age was Connie. She always would be there for him.

“...If you change your  _ mind…” _

At this point, his voice was cracking. He, too, was crying. This child had gone through hell and back, and if nothing changed he would be forced to go through something far worse. Something so disgusting that even thinking about it made him feel sick.

“If you change your  _ mind…” _

He knelt down on the floor and held open his arms. Star ran over to him. The moment they made contact, Steven knew that he had done the right thing. The boy held him tightly and he hugged him back. No longer will he be forced to suffer.

“...Change your mind.”

Star was weeping into his shoulder. Wordlessly, Steven held him close and rubbed circles into his back. Maybe he could fix the future and make it so he wouldn’t be so unneeded. The amount of possibilities was infinite.

“It’s all my fault,” The child whispered. Steven’s heart shattered. “I… I’m Rose Quartz, so I’m Pink Diamond by default, right? Everything is my fault, all my past self’s mistakes are coming back to me and I don’t know what to do… I just want everyone to be happy, and I want the universe to be safe, and I want space to be a fun place, and-”

“None of this was your fault.” The young adult interrupted. “Never. They were just placing unrealistic expectations onto you. You are  _ not  _ your mom, Steven.” 

“Then… who or what am I?”

This conversation was so difficult for him. He didn’t have the heart to tell his past self that, soon, his problems and responsibilities would be much more stressful to deal with. Slowly, he leaned back, staring the other right back in the eyes.

_ “You  _ are  **Steven Quartz Cutie-Pie Demayo Universe. Not** Pink Diamond,  **not** Rose Quartz… you’re you. And you’re  _ incredible _ just the way you are.”

Star nuzzled back into his shoulder, another whimper escaping his lips as he trembled. Then, more tears came from his eyes. Steven would need to remember to wash his shirt.

“But… this is  _ her  _ gem…”

He shook his head slowly. “That is  _ your  _ gem. Pink and Rose are  _ gone.  _ When you fall asleep tonight, ask to speak to your gem half in your dream. He’ll understand.”

“...What did you mean by ‘change your mind’?”

“When White Diamond requests to speak to you, tell her how you feel. Let  _ all  _ of it out, your anger, your guilt… you can’t let her touch you. Not even  _ once.  _ Talking things out wasn’t possible with her… it never will be.”

The younger leaned back in his embrace with a worried frown, “But, isn’t that something mom would do…?”

Steven ruffled his hair. “No. It’s something  _ you  _ would do. Don’t even worry about mom… you worry so much about others that you never worry about yourself. You need to care about how  _ you  _ feel and know what  _ you  _ want as well.”

“...Is this a dream?” His younger self asked, averting his gaze as more tears slipped out of his eyes. “When I wake up, will all of this end?”

He frowned. “The only way to wake up is to start caring about yourself, Steven. Not mom, not dad, Not Pearl, not Amethyst, not Garnet, not Connie, not the Diamonds… care about yourself. Only then can you learn how to love yourself for who you are.”

They hugged each other. The teenager held back his sobs for as long as he could, but he failed at the end. His tears fell from his cheeks onto the floor, causing the clouds below him to disappear. When he turned to Star, the other had already disappeared. Only a trail of fluffy, pink clouds were left behind.

Why couldn’t he just fix the mistakes he made?

**Author's Note:**

> — : I hope you enjoyed reading this! I wish I could protect my younger self as well, haha.  
> This is nothing more than a vent fic I came up with a little while ago after I got a little too stressed out and remembered some things.  
> Please, do NOT make any comments like “I shIp It!!!” It makes me uncomfortable as they are literally the same person. Even if they weren’t, the age gap is still unsettling.


End file.
